I may accidentally kill my husband

This would be a very bad thing.

But I am afraid if I call a Canada goose a duck one more time, I may cause him to have a stroke.

Every time a Canada goose (I always want to say Canadian Goose, but when I googled the term, apparently it’s wrong [!] – doesn’t it sound right to you?) is waddling through the yard down by the water, I tell my husband the ducks are visiting.

And every time I tell him the ducks are visiting, this sends him into an apoplectic fit.  "Canada geese are NOT ducks!  Learn the difference!  How do you not know this?  You grew up on the water!  You like birds!  STOP CALLING THEM DUCKS!"

Why Canada geese and ducks are all ducks to me, I just can’t explain.  It’s weird, because I actually love to watch birds and learn which are who.  I can name many more birds than my husband, who generally looks at any bird and says “brown bird” or “small bird” the same way he looks at my flowers and calls them “pretty red flowers” or “pretty yellow flowers.”

So why is every swimming bird a duck to me?  I just don’t know, but I’ve decided I need to fix this character flaw because my husband is out of town right now, and darn it, I just can’t make the coffee right.  It’s not quite strong enough.  So I better not give him a heart attack just yet.

HOWEVER, it turns out that duck vs. goose is not a simple open-and-shut case.

In my attempt to educate myself on the differences between ducks and Canada geese, my research has muddied up the waters a bit.  Let me show you what I uncovered on Wikipedia:

Ok, this is simple, right?  Here is the Canada goose.

But when I googled “duck” here is a screenshot of what came up:

Note that the first thing I saw on this page is pictures of several different waterfowl, including a white swan.  Now, check out the part I have underlined below:

Duck is the common name for numerous species - including swans and GEESE?  Therefore, a duck IS a goose?  So that means I'm not wrong, right?

But read a bit further now:

Wait a minute, didn't that just say "swans and geese are not considered ducks?"  But I thought the same paragraph just said they were?

And now I remember why I always liked biology, but could never overcome my B average.  Am I the only person this doesn't make sense to?  Clearly, I need someone smarter than me to clear up this mystery.

So the question of the day remains:

Is a Canada goose a duck?  Or not?

Either way, I have decided to stop calling all the swimmers ducks.  A Canada goose will now be a goose when I see one.

I will make this change for the sake of my husband, who is currently at our home/house harvesting my perennials and putting them in vases to bring to me here at The House of Goodwill, so I will not miss seeing them flower this year.  He is a good man.  And I really need to be drinking better coffee than what I can make.

And I apologize to anyone who finds this post boring or off topic.  In an attempt to six-degrees-of Kevin-Bacon this, I'll point out that surely it is in the spirit of goodwill to not kill one's husband.

I'm not wrong, right?