A gentleman and a gentle man

When I think of people I really respect, people I greatly admire and want to pattern myself after, a handful of people come to mind.

One of those people, my father-in law, passed away last week after a ten-year decline due to Alzheimer's.

It was one of those expected unexpected deaths; we knew as an 86-year-old with Alzheimer's it was just a matter of time.  But although his mental decline was great, he was physically strong, even till the end.  We often commented on how sad the dementia diagnosis was; if not for that who knows?  He probably could have gone strong into his 90's.

In the end, his heart failed due to lack of nourishment.  He was refusing to eat and drink, and apparently refusing IV feeding as well.  Ironically, he had just beat COVID.  His vital signs the evening before he passed were normal.

But I don't want to remember the decline.  I prefer to remember him as he was: one of the kindest, gentlest men I have ever known.

At my wedding in 1998.  

This is the only photo of us together that I could find on my laptop.

But his gentle nature and natural humility belied a strength of character that commanded respect.

Clifford Cole had a character of iron.  He was a good man.  He did not tolerate disrespect, crassness or meanness in any way.  He and my mother-in-law, Edie, were always serving someone.  They were active in their church, always, and opened their home generously to anyone in need.

It seemed over the years that I was always meeting someone who had lived with my parents-in-law for some period of time when they needed support.  If you stopped by their home to say hello, you most likely received a dinner invitation.  The welcome mat was always rolled out for all who came.

He had a servant's heart, and a gifting to serve.  For us, it seemed he was always fixing something when he was around.  Whenever he came to visit he usually undertook some type of helpful project around our house.

He taught my husband all kinds of useful skills, and was a wonderful model as a husband.

He was a camp director for years, and a substitute father for many.

I loved him dearly.  I will greatly miss him.

When I think of someone who truly embodied the concept of goodwill, he's the man.

Matthew 5:9

"Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called sons of God."

2 Timothy 4:7

"I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith."

My dear father-in-law, I look forward to the next time I see you again. 💕